Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you had me at cake vodka
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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