Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
