I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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