Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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