Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
