i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
