i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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