that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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