you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
God, I missed his penis.
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