You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
