Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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