When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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