He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
