i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
