Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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