I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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