no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
