he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
