yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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