one two three fourrrrnication!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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