Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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