Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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