google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
