Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
