im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
