when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
