If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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