You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
