i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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