I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
