well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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