Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
