nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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