): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
