There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
