i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I supernannyed him into submission
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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