I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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