My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
