Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
