i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
