Say something about gay babies.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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