Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
