Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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