Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
