ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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