He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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