ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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