let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
