Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
if only i could text you this smell
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
