who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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