i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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